did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
