I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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