I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
