Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
