You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
