I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
