omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
