Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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