VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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