you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
