1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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