It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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