He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
