he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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