she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
