I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
FUCK WHALES
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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