I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
