You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
