why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
