how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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