Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
