Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
