ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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