Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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