And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She told me I should be a condom model.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
