eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
