He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
