Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
