Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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