He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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