He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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