How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
