how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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