I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
