I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
