You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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