direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
