I just threw up on my dentist
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
