singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
