i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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