What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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