Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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