Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
