We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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