I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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