I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ok first of all what the fuck
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
