Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
