Can i not drive my cunt home
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
