you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
