There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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