I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
