im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
