do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
