He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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