are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
In other news, I just burned my penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
