considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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