Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
