I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
