Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
