i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
