Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
