Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
