Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
