She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
