he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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