what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
