Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
