it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
