Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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