Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
