we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
