It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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