I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
