I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
