Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
